The Curator: our American nightmare
The line between fiction and true crime, plus finding community in the mess.
The irony is not lost on me that the title of this newsletter very well could've referred to several active American nightmares, all of which may come to a culminating big boss nightmare in November. Do not pass poverty, do not hit equality, do not collect the American dream (I heard it’s been left at the bottom of a bright pink Stanley cup).
What it does refer to is Netflix’s American Nightmare, a recently released mini-series about the 2015 kidnapping of Denise Huskins and the unfathomable dick-swinging response from the Vallejo police department who was convinced it was all a hoax. Here’s a cute lil’ trailer for you if you haven’t seen it yet.
(Some moderate spoilers ahead).
My shock and awe doesn’t stem from the police considering all the angles. Kidnapping hoaxes do exist (re: Sherri Papini or Carlee Russell), and these women surely have their reasons for betraying the cause (mental health? narcissism? both?). But why is that the first place a detective would go when faced with a potential kidnapping? A potential kidnapping with PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. Physical evidence that could prove a third person was involved in this crime. Someone you could find and ask questions!
The Vallejo police, seemingly, were interested in none of that. Instead, based on a “gut feeling,” Detective Mat Mustard [with the nightstick, in the interrogation room] determines he is living out his policeman main character fantasy in a real-life reprisal of Gone Girl as the hero cop who can’t be outsmarted. Mr. Mustard didn’t even TRY to hide his unfounded theories or uncover the truth. He delivers his lines with all the hubris of a Trump supporter circa 2020.
Mustard to the wrongfully accused boyfriend: HAVE YOU SEEN GONE GIRL.
And not even referencing the book version but the movie version!!!
The audacity.
Me as the Netflix interviewer when we get to the Colonel Mustard interviews part:
Yes please tell me more about how all the evidence you gathered and investigations you made supported your theory this was all a hoax.
Oh, that’s right, you didn’t do any actual investigating, you just watched a David Fincher film.
Until we get to the female cop Misty Carausu portion, this entire scenario is a complete failure of the justice system for Denise and Aaron. But it’s so much more than an indictment of the American police state. It’s about the blurring of fiction and truth, our cultural dependence on constant (self) surveillance, and what happens when everything becomes content.
I am a [true] crime fan. I listen to podcasts, read books, watch crazy documentaries either about or inspired by real trauma. I make assumptions about guilt and innocence. And for a moment while watching this documentary, I felt like a part of the problem. I sat down on the couch expecting to be entertained; what I left with was a question - what happens when everything becomes content?
We can blame the Vallejo police for a lot of things, and their actions were despicable. But I’m less interested in blame and more interested in the implications - how does a person in authority get away with bringing a fictional crime into the conversation in the first place? Is this our future? Have we become so desensitized by storytelling, so inoculated from reality that we only see ourselves through the distorted simulacrum of fictional worlds? Have we gone past depersonalization and into new territory where we are the content of our own making?
[And it goes both ways - real life influenced by fictional crime, and entertainment (fictional or not) inspired by real crime. Caitlin over at PRESENT TENSE wrote a wonderful piece on the implications of fiction inspired by real crime and the other side of the coin - what do we owe the victims? Do we have a right to take their stories?]
Without a doubt, as Karen said on the last episode of My Favorite Murder, this mini-series is an example of true crime turning on itself. We watch the trailers trying to “figure out” the solution like it's a game instead of real people’s lives, and apparently, now so do some police. While Grainy Mustard took fiction and injected it into reality, in the end, it’s all wrapped up in the true crime genre in general, and how we tell stories to and about each other.
So much of what draws me to true crime, and I bet a lot of others, is that it helps us face our fears of violence. I’ve found community in the My Favorite Murder podcast that taught me to fuck politeness and look out for myself. I’ve connected with (mostly) other women over true crime stories. It’s given me an outlet for exploring my own fears and to feel marginally more prepared to save myself in an attack.
But what it shouldn’t do is become a stand-in for reality or exist simply to amuse us.
With that said, because this is a publication mainly about books, I have a few true crime titles that I think strike a great balance between telling a good story and telling the truth (insomuch as memory can be called truth). They don’t feel salacious, they feel instructional and compelling. I highly recommend these on audio if you are into that sort of thing.
Mindhunter and The Killer Across the Table both by John E. Douglas - these books are favorites of mine because they dig deep into the psychology and the politics of catching a killer, and the toll it takes on those who do the catching.
Unmasked by Paul Holes - it’s the story of how he caught the Golden State Killer but it’s also the story of Paul and how being good at your job might mean being bad at the rest of your life.
Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - these two beautiful wonderful ladies share their traumatic histories as a way of connecting with an audience of deeply anxious women just trying to stay alive one fuck politeness at a time!
The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule - The story of Ted Bundy by someone who knew him. The honesty is what strikes me about this one - Ann’s ability to reflect and admit Bundy was able to fool her just like everyone else is admirable and makes it personal rather than just a complete nightmare.
And the Vallejo police can just go fuck right off!
Cheers! 😘
READING →
I have officially started on my journey of the Pauls. Not Rudd, Walker, and Giamatti but Murray, Harding, and Lynch (authors or law firm?). Sharing a first name doesn’t mean anything in theory but I’m curious about these three Booker-nominated dudes that perhaps share more demographic similarities than not. I’m starting with Paul Harding’s This Other Eden because it’s only 222 pages and I need some small wins after The Stand. It was an acclimation but I’m enjoying it now.
LISTENING →
To Maxence Cyrin play “Where is My Mind” on piano. Haunting.
NEW BOOKS → include a 2024 wishlist book about family secrets, a memoir for the nostalgic millennial girly, and a tense novel about the madness of grief.
BOOK NEWS →
Tertulia put out a list of 13 must-read fiction titles for 2024. They copied four of mine.
NPR is trying to come for our e-readers. Coupled people know the deal.
And everyone's favorite online librarian was honored with the ALA’s I Love My Librarian Award. Mychal is sure to brighten your day.
RESTACK OF THE WEEK →
This doesn’t need any explanation.
AND CATS →
No personal space in this house.
LETS CHAT →
Murderino? Tell me your favorite ism.
What’s the craziest true crime story you’ve ever heard?
What are you reading and is it any good?
In Case You Missed It
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See you around the bookshelf!
Natalie
Ooo I can’t wait to hear what you think about The Other Eden Nat! I had so many thoughts when I read it - most prominent one being I don’t think mr Paul Harding should really be telling this story?
Ps puuurrrrr on the nails 💅🏻 slay (pur bc cats also)
Thanks for the shout-out! The best thing about it is it introduced me to your rad newsletter!